I was teaching reading today, and one of the kids says, "Ms. J, Fred* is under your desk, painting!" So I get to a stopping place and walk over to my desk. Lo and behold, Fred* was under my desk, painting. Fred* had gotten into the classroom supplies, pulled out some paints, and was painting a masterpiece.
The best part? Fred was painting the floor. Literally. The tile was pink and blue.
So I took the paint away, and said, "Fred*, we do not paint the floor!" So Fred* cleaned up the mess (before I got a picture!), and I went back to teaching.
About five minutes later, I caught Fred* under my desk, painting again. I was pretty upset at this point, because Fred* was being a distraction. When I scolded Fred*, he got a wounded look on his face. "Ms. J, you said I couldn't paint the floor. I got paper this time!"
You're right. I should have said, "we are not painting today."
It's really not funny, but after they went to music, I laughed myself silly.
*names, dates, places, and all other incriminating evidence (just kidding about that part) changed for obvious reasons of keeping the teacher's sanity